Jeff Dunbar BBA CH
When a person believes in themselves and their abilities to succeed in life we describe them as “being full of confidence”. Self confident people tend to have certain characteristics associated with them such as the ability to be:
Many people will experience low self confidence at some point in our lives and this is a perfectly normal experience to have, but there are some people whose entire lives seem to be experienced with these feelings of low self confidence, often expressed as feeling “not good enough” and for them, life can be challenging on a daily basis. It could be, for example, that they do not feel good enough to mix with people and so become socially withdrawn, or perhaps the idea of going for a job interview seems so pointless as they already “know” that they aren’t good enough for the job and so what’s the point in attending.
People with low self confidence or low self esteem have been shown to also suffer from a high degree of excessive worry. In fact, there is a known correlation between low self-esteem (low self confidence) and high social phobia. (The degree to which you feel judged by other people)
The more social phobia you suffer, the more low self confidence you experience and the higher your self-confidence the lower your social phobia.
There are a large number of things that can result in low self confidence, but from our point of view they probably fall into two main categories:
1. Some sort of negative or emotional experience that has taken place, normally where you failed to live up to some “standard” and felt, or were made to feel, embarrassed or “small” as a consequence. It is particularly important to note that this “standard” which was not achieved may be real, or simply imagined. This experience may be buried or “trapped” in the unconscious part of the mind, or you may be fully aware of it, the problem is that it is having a direct effect on the way that you feel NOW.
2. The slow development, over time, of negative thinking patterns that start to impact more widely on the way you feel about yourself. We call this a “cognitive distortion” and it is well known that thoughts actually directly affect feelings. In other words the “way you think” determines the “way you feel”. These thinking styles can self-reinforce and lead into a downward spiral of low self confidence that get worse over time. Often this is a “learned behaviour”.
There are a number of things that can be done to improve low self confidence.
Here at Inner Resolutions we normally carry out a thorough initial consultation with prospective clients to ensure that the therapy we offer is the one most appropriate to the individual circumstances of the person needing the help.
The choice of therapy is mainly determined by the individual history of the client.
Where somebody with low self confidence is generally speaking “clear of any other major problems” then we often find that two or three sessions of Clinical Hypnosis can have a very beneficial effect.
Where low self confidence is just the “tip of the iceberg” it may be that the sufferer needs a more intensive form of therapy that will help them deal with a broader range of problems that have become associated with the problem. In these cases we would normally advocate analytical hypnosis to help you resolve the past experiences that may have led you feeling negative about yourself.
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